Current Power Points Ranking for the CarNutz Fantasy Football League.

funkmaster-division-in-CarNutz-fantasy-leagueBut first, how about some “doggie dirt!”  Look at the start the Funkmasters Division is off to.  Talk about ‘funk,’ they are in it in a big way!  And, who are the owners of those teams with a big fat goose egg under the ‘win’ column?  The entire division has only been able to muster a combined three wins!

By comparison, the Overbiters Division hosts two still unbeaten teams, Sherman’s Army and Perch’s Pigeons and have a combined 12 wins going into Week 4.



army girl fantasy football#1. Sherman’s Army

Record: 3-0;  Total Points: 855 ;  Profile Pix: 8.5; Power Points: 21,802

In an early battle between undefeated teams, the Sherm’s spanked the Go Crabbies. Fueled by the stellar defensive effort of  Chad Greenway, his Army rolled over the Go Crabbies to maintain his perfect record through three games. With Matt Forte’s expected return, the Army is going to be a formidable opponent in coming weeks.

His next match is with the less than formidable “Ocho-Uglies”… with a record to date sporting only one win.  Yet the projections seems to favor the “Uglies!!”  Should be a great game!

POWER POINTS RANKING UPDATE.  Huge JUMP IN POWER POINTS  here!   Army just posted a hottie!  … awarded an extra .5 for being a  “League Team Player.”  I’m liking this Army!


murphy's law fantasy football# 2. Murphy’s Law

Record: 2-1;  Total Poings: 797; Profile Pix: 9; Power Points: 14,346

The Law continues to rule!  Though he made a very weak trade proposal with the Go Crabbies, he still holds this writer’s favor… with his hot profile pix. Special kudos for breaking the “300-point glass ceiling” in crushing the “Hawk-less Eye Guy” this week. Rookies… go figure!  Riding the wave behind the Skins potentially new breakable toy… RGIII, he does have a huge ace-in-the-hole QB, riding his pine.

Week 4 brings a match-up with the 2-1 Maestros.  One of these teams will emerge with a 3-1 record.  The other will fall to mediocrity.

Can you say hike?


no-crabbies-fantasy-football#3. No Crabbies

Record: 2-1;  Total Points: 884.5 ;  Profile Pix: 8; Power Points: 14,152

The Crabbies got stuck in the Chesapeake mud this week, with what looked like a Sherman Tank leaving tread marks all over the beach. Certainly, the Brees blew in the wrong direction and CJ Spiller decided to watch the game from the medical examiner’s room after the first quarter.

Their next opponent is the weak and feeble 0 & 3 Plastic Nutz.  YUK!  The Crabbies are the decided under doggie in this game. Do they dare fall to mediocrity, or do they find a way to provide a nice kick in the Nutz?

His profile pix is really hot!  Lots of skin!



 perch's pigeons fantasy football4. Perch’s Pigeons

Record: 3-0;  Total Points: 738 ;  Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 11,070

Kudos to the Pigeons for maintaining their perfect record.  Yet, this team is not putting up huge points, and his profile picture still sucks!  Find up some skin Perch and give your Power Points a boost.  Antonio Brown, Reggie Wayne and Eli led the scavenger birds to victory over the Steel Nutz in Week 3.  But, two donuts on defense didn’t help his cause.

Looking at Week 4, the Pigeons find themselves against the other Funkmaster cellar dwellar, the “yet to win a game” Dynamo!  Looks like the Pigeons are benching Eli in favor of  the Houston pitcher.  Will the Dynamo really have  to go without Stafford and Bush?   This one is anyone’s guess.



big moon's maestros fantasy football#5. Big Moon’s Maestros

Record: 2-1;  Total Points; 738.5; Profile Pix: 4.5;  Power Points: 6,647

The mighty Maestros jumped 3 places in this week’s Power Points rankings (from 8 to 5) by topping  the lowly Dynamo in a close game.  Mike Wallace and that New England QB helped them secure victory.  Too bad they still use “Barry Manilow” as their profile picture!

They run up against a real opponent this week!  They run up against the “Law.”  You know how this story ends: “…ran against the Law and the Law won!”  Still, the Maestros appear to be slight underdog at this point… even with their Steeler WR ineligible to secure any points this week.



bikini waxers fantasy football#6. Bikini Waxers

Record: 1-2;  Total Points: 710; Profile Pix: 9.5;  Power Points: 6,745

The Waxers bent over in Week 3 letting the  “Ocho-Uglies” spank their pretty butt.  League management just hopes they don’t receive reports that they let the Ocho pull that bikini string too!  (Save that for me Ron… LOL) Barely getting off  the “ladies tees” the Waxer’s couldn’t break the 200-point mark.  But, there is hope for this Funkmaster Division team.  They still share the lead in the diminutive division.

They face off against the  league “rookie” in Week 4, and they appear to be a slight favorite at this point.  One of these two teams will  rise to the level of mediocrity.  But, that’s not a bad place to be this early in the season!


never say dynamo fantasy football team#7. Never Say Dynamo

Record: 0-3;  Total Points: 743 ;  Profile Pix: 6; Power Points: 4,458

This was the best 0-2 fantasy football team in the league, but they are now bottom feeders… falling to a disappointing 0 & 3.   Grant it, they lost in Week 3 to the mighty Maestros in a close game.  Led by Larry Fitz, Matt Stafford and Dwayne Bowe, you might think the “mighty MO” would do better; but that’s fantasy football!

Week 4 brings a huge rivalry game with the Pigeons!  This one is fit for Monday Night Football!  …better than the Peckerheads against the Bears, or the Colts against the Pats, or the Steelers against the ????

The MO will need  a huge performance by Matt Stafford. It’s about time Stafford live up to projections and expectations as a high FFL draft choice.


Steel Nutz fantasy football#8. Steel Nutz

Record: 0-3;  Total Points: 715;  Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 3,575

The “king” of fantasy football is off to a slow start. Or, should I say “no start,” after a dismal performance in Week 3.  Who is managing this team anyway?  Holy Skita Batgirl, the Nutz left 64-points on the bench; Jamaal Charles had a huge game!  But, they don’t count if he’s not in the lineup.  Maybe we should rename to this team to the “Meat Heads!”

Week 4 brings new hope to the “Meat Heads!”  They face the damaged No Crabbies reeling from their first loss.  With Jamaal Charles now a “crowned stud” RB, and in this week’s lineup, he’ll be hard to beat.



hawkeye guy fantasy football#9. Hawkeye Guy

Record: 1-2;  Total Points: 727 ;  Profile Pix: 4; Power Points: 2,908

After coming out strong in week 1, the “rook” has now lost two straight. In Week 3, he was simply crushed by the “Law.”  But, the low performances by A-Rog, Victor Cruz and Vincent Jackson didn’t help.  However, with MJD, James Laurinatis and the resurgent Tony G in his lineup, along with the three already mentioned, this team could crack the 300-point mark in any given week.

Week 4 presents a great match-up between the Hawkeye and Waxers.  The projections indicate this as very close game!  A little waiver work and Sunday morning attention could determine the outcome of this game.

Let it be known… profile pix quality is a ranking factor.  I think the grey hats won, or did they lose the Civil War?


ocho-inch-johnson-fantasy-football#10. Ocho-Inch Johnson

Record: 1-2;  Total Points; 758; Profile Pix: 3;  Power Points: 2,274

Them ugly ‘ocho-stinkos’  almost broke the 300-point mark in Week 3, easily defeating the Bikini Waxers by almost 100 points.  Yet, he (Randy) still remains in last place in the Power Points ranking.  I wonder why? LOL

This is a quality team that will only get better! Led by two premier WRs, Calvin Johnson and AJ Green, this is a team that can score a lot of points.  It’s all just a matter of “Luck! :)

Holy Skita!  Look who the ‘stinkos’ are facing in Week 4.  It’s the Army… the team that continues to roll over opponents.  Yet, the “stinkos” look like the favorite this week. Best of luck to both teams!  But, whip their ass Randy! :)



This is it for this week!  Remember, I would still very much appreciate feedback and input!  I expect publishing time will be late Thursday each week.

This is how Power Rankings will be calculated.  It’s easy math, Scott still doesn’t seem to have a problem with it:

Total points… X… Wins… X… Profile Pix Value.

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