Week 5: Power Point Rankings
Current Power Points Ranking for the CarNutz Fantasy Football League.
The Never Say Dynamo fantasy football team scored huge Fantasy points this week with the league’s most recent hot profile picture.
Are you dating this girl bro?
The Dynamo remains one of the coolest teams in the Car Nutz Fantasy football league. So cool… this writer has to ask “is he stone cold dead?” The hot stup was a step in the right direction. Grant it, the ‘mighty mo’ generated strong momentum going into Week 5, but just couldn’t overcome the Law’s signal caller!
Last week’s Foo-pa fantasy team just crushed them poor Paper Nutz. Super Kudos go to Mr. Randy Berlin and his Ocho-Inch Johnson for breaking the 300-point “glass ceiling” in Week 5! Let’s hope that Johnson grows for you Randy! Wow! It’s so much fun to have full editorial control over what you write.
Record: 4-1; Total Points: 1355; Profile Pix: 9; Power Points: 48,780
As mentioned in last week’s dirt, a win this week coupled with a Army loss and the Law could rule! Well, Murph did it! Murphy’s Law moved into first place in the Power Points ranking following his crushing victory over the feeble Never Say Dynamo. Overcoming an early lose when Danny A suffered an early exit, he rode the arm of Mattie Ice, B. Marshall and strong team performance to establish a league best 4-1 record.
However, his ride on top of the CarNutz league might be short lived… as he faces the “Nue-be” in Week 6.
Record: 4-1; Total Points: 1349 ; Profile Pix: 8.5; Power Points: 45,866
The Army started out with lots of ‘Luck’ with a super human performance by this rook QB, but then ran out of artillery shells, firepower and team production against the sexy Waxers in Week 5. Stymied by a lack of front line offensive power with several significant “Bye’s,” Sherm just couldn’t put it all together this week.
However, Jordon is no doubt sitting across the many seas noticing that his Week 6 opponent is actually a “Weak” 6 opponent while chomping on his chicken ‘flies’ rice.
Record: 3-2; Total Points: 1394 ; Profile Pix: 8; Power Points: 33,456
The Crabbies fell into a last place tie in the Overbiters Division following a solid trouncing by the Maestros in Week 5. His “Who-dat” nation of Drew Brees, Darren Sproles and Curtis Lofton weren’t enough to overcome some rather significant early poor performances.
And, Week 6 looks particularly bad for my favorite team. The entire “Who-dat” nation looks like they’ve been put on bench. Did Roger Goddell put the entire team on suspension?
Record: 4-1; Total Points: 1257 ; Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 25,140
The Pigeons scored big in Week 5. They tickled the under belly of the 300-point plateau putting up 290 points to stay on top of the Overbiters division in a 3-way tie with the Law and Army. Reggie Wayne’s monster performance led the charge supporting an overall strong team performance.
But, his profile picture continues to hold him down in the overall Power Points rankings. It looks like he’ll need another huge performance by Reggie Wayne in his Week 6 match-up with the Maestros.
#6. Bikini Waxers
Record: 2-3; Total Points: 1214; Profile Pix: 9.5; Power Points: 23,066
The Waxers won their second game of the season crushing the Army in Week 5. Not sure how he did it! I thought the Army had him dead to left. But, somehow Ron pulled it off. Now, Pull that string off… pull the string… PLEASE. Put ME out of MY misery!!! LOL
The Waxers can extend their winning streak by beating the Steel Nutz in Week 6. This should be the game of the week! The Nutz are due! Sounds a bit repetitive doesn’t it?
Record: 3-2; Total Points: 1231; Profile Pix: 4.5; Power Points: 16,619
The Maestros improved their record to 3-2 in Week 5 by defeating the favored No Crabbies. This put the Maestros just a game out of first place in the Funkmasters Divsion and proved they are a top team with great management!
Week 6 will tell the true tale. They face the Pigeons and the Pigeons look like the early favorite. However, the Maestros have proven time and again that they rise to the occasion when they are the underdog!
Record: 2-3; Total Points: 1281 ; Profile Pix: 6; Power Points: 15,372
Following his 300-point performance last week, the Hawkeye Guy suffered his third defeat… this time to the Perchless Pigeons. Yet, the Neu guy stills holds onto a first place tie with the Ocho-Inch Johnsons and Bikini Waxers in the Funkmasters division. Big Deal…
The Hawkeye Guy’s profile picture now has a value of 6 versus 4 in previous weeks. Adam Shitner is texting the world that this team still shows huge promise!
But, Week 6 brings the Law to town! Yet, the Law looks vulnerable. Apparently, a lot of his front line players are suffering the “Bye” flu.
You Do Not Want to Be in the Bottom Three!!
Record: 1-4; Total Points: 1254 ; Profile Pix: 8; Power Points: 10,032
I should really stop writing here, but in deference to the Hawkeye Guy’s performance in Week 4, I feel it’s my responsibility to finish this section on the “cellar dwellers .” There is some hope for the league’s bottom feeders! After all, the Dynamos did rack up a very respectable 249 points this week in bringing down the undefeated Pigeons and extending their win streak to a full game! LOL
And, the current week’s projections favor the Dynamo to upset the mighty Muryphy’s Law. So, let’s give him the benefit of doubt at this point. Go Mo! Yeah, right…
But, the new “hot stup” in his profile shows that the Dynamo is giving it his all to get back on top of the CarNutz League!
Record: 2-3; Total Points; 1296; Profile Pix: 3; Power Points: 7,776
While them fugly ‘ocho-stinkos’ almost broke the 300-point mark in Week 3, and barely got off the “ladies tees” in Week 4, they jumped nearly 5,000 points in the Power Point Rankings in Week 5. The mighty “inchers” did bust the 300-point mark as they slipped it by the ever low hanging Nutz! (LOL… I’m really a pervert!!!)
This week, it’s simply a match-up between cellar dwellers as the Ocho-Inch Johnson faces off with the Steel Nutz. But, the Johnson continue to rack up nice points. Let’s see if this trend continues!
Record: 0-5; Total Points: 1258; Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 6,290
This Nobel winning sports writer is perplexed. How can any team go 0-5 in Fantasy Foolsball… let alone the curator and truth purveyor of the CarNutz League. Yet, this year’s version of the once potent Steel Nutz did show a marked testosterone spike scoring 274 points against the fugly ‘ocho-stinkos.’
Adam Shitner is reporting that the Nutz might have a ‘man crush’ on the Johnson! …or, at least a very close relationship!
Week 6 brings a stiff competition with the powerful Waxers. If I’m reading the tea leafs correctly, the Nutz have a projected opportunity to actually sneak into the win column… if all those “Q’s” actually play.
This is it for this week! Remember, I would still very much appreciate feedback and input! I expect publishing time will be late Thursday each week.
This is how Power Point Rankings are calculated. And, this can verified by Scott, Harkovich and Scott PPC.
Total points… X… Number of Wins… X… Profile Pix Value. No wins still getting 1 point.
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