Week 6: Hot News from the CarNutz Fantasy Football League
Hot News and Power Points Ranking for the CarNutz Fantasy Football League.
The Steel Nutz continue their downward spiral into fantasy football oblivion. Poor little nutz! They just bottomed out at 0-6. In my best effort to cheer up Scott, I decided to change his profile picture or logo picture to a really hot dame that I’m sure he’ll appreciate! …hopefully it will make him chuckle and I know it will piss him off!
This week’s Fantasy Football Foo-Pa’s
1. Hawkeye Guy benching Aaron Rogers.
2. Murphy’s Law not filling two team positions.
3. Bikini Waxers leaving Jordy Nelson’s 56 points on the pine.
This weeks’ Fantasy Football Best Moves
1. Hawkeye Guy adding Shonn Greene to his roster.
2. Murphy’s Law for taking a loss this week to protect his team integrity for the future!
3. Ocho-Inch Johnson for having confidence in Carson Palmer.
And, very special thanks to Sherman’s Army, Perch’s Pigeons and Murphy’s Law for losing this week to allow the No Crabbies and Big Moon’s Maestros to pull into a five team tie at the top the Overbiters Division. All have 4-2 records through week six. Plus, let me pass on some huge Kudos to the Hawkeye Guy, Ocho-Inch Johnson and Bikini Waxers on big wins this week. All now have 3-3 records and sit on top of the Funkmasters Division.
…we only have two “Cellar Dwellers” this week, and you know who you are!
Record: 4-2; Total Points: 1591; Profile Pix: 9; Power Points: 57,276
Murph took it on the chin this week against the Hawkeye Guy. Hurt by his many “byes,” the law this week was to protect his team for the future. While leaving two donuts in his lineup might appear worse than a DUI, the “Law” still rules on top of the Overbiters Division and highly regarded Power Points Rankings!
Week 7 matches the “Law” against the “Pigeons.” Both squads sit on 4-2 records. Something has to give this week!
Record: 4-2; Total Points: 1561 ; Profile Pix: 8.5; Power Points: 53,074
What is happening to the mighty Army? Are they already feeling the impending Obama military cutbacks? Settle down, General; there’s an election in three weeks. Don’t let both treads come off their track! 209 points in Week 6 was the worst performance in the league. If the Army had faced the Steel Nutz, they would have lost! And, that’s totally Nutz!
This week, the Army goes to battle against the “fug-ugly” Ocho-Almost-an-Inch Johnson. Let’s make that lady proud and use that huge tube to stick it to the “ugly-fugs.”
Record: 4-2; Total Points: 1626 ; Profile Pix: 8; Power Points: 52,032
Somehow, the Crappies managed to pull out a slim victory against the slumping Sherman’s Army. With the entire “who-dat” portion of his lineup apparently down in the French Quarter sucking the heads off of mudbugs, he managed to post his 4th win; staying on top of the Overbiters Division… along with everyone else in this Division. Sitting in third place in the Power Points Rankings, the Crappies still maintain the highest points scored in the CarNutz League.
The Crappies face off against the Steel Nutz this week. The “line” seems to favor him… just a little. This could be a huge ‘trap’ game!
Record: 3-3; Total Points: 1457; Profile Pix: 9.5; Power Points: 41,525
The Waxers jumped from #5 to #4 in the Power Points rankings jumping over the “Perchless Pigeons” …by squeaking out a narrow victory against the Steel Nutz. Ronnie is now riding the wave of a two-game winning streak and sitting on top of the feeble Funkmasters Division.
This week he faces the once mighty Dynamo and can extend his winning streak to three games. Plus, the Dynamo is sitting on two prize WR’s that might provide some tasteful donuts for the Waxers.
Record: 4-2; Total Points: 1482 ; Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 29,640
The Pigeons got crushed by the Big Moon’s Maestros in Week 6. Kind of reminded of when my oldest son used to chase those dirty birds away in Europe at the age of 3… Everywhere we went, those Pigeons were all over the place; England, Germany, France, Italy, Switzerland. Their safety was threatened by my son, Michael, as they were threatened and beaten by the Kunkel led Maestros last week.
So, what’s the threat to the Pigeons in Week 7? The “Laws” in town! Nuff said! However, the “dirty birds” are off to strong start this week. Frank Gore and Navarro Bowman (my charity throw to Perch… LOL) scored well for him in the Thursday night game. But, he has a RB problem this week! I’d probably drop McCoy if there’s an alternative out there.
Record: 3-3; Total Points: 1547 ; Profile Pix: 6; Power Points: 27,846
The “Nue” guy jumped into a first place tie in the Funkmasters Division by beating the “Law” in Week 6. Yet, history shows that you can’t continue to beat the “Law.” Sooner or later you’re gonna end up in the clink! In fact, the “Hawks” should have been jailed for sitting A-Rog in Week 6. But, Peyton jumped in and bailed him out. In Week 7…
…he ain’t given a choice! That makes him smart! And, the smart money is on the “rook” this week against the Maestros. Looks like the Kunkel staff is struggling to field a team this week!
Record: 4-2; Total Points: 1497; Profile Pix: 4.5; Power Points: 26,946
The Maestros extended their winning streak to two games by crushing the Pigeons in Week 6; moving them into a first place tie with every other team in the Overbiters Division. Tom Terrific, Jeremy Maclin and Ray Lewis drove up the points for the Kunk. It was tough seeing Ray’s loss. Will this be the end of the Maestro’s recent charge? Week 6 shows them falling back into the #7 position behind the Hawkeye Guy.
Who is he going to play in the Flex position this week when he faces off against the resurgent Hawkeye Guy? Can he catch the Hawk the week, and move up to #6: or will he lose ground in the Power Points rankings? I would keep an eye on them “fug-uglies!” They scare me!
Record: 3-3; Total Points; 1581; Profile Pix: 3; Power Points: 14,229
Had to take the Ocho-Incher out of the cellar. The ”fug-uglies” evened their record to 3-3 by topping the Dynamo is a close game. Plus this team is just scoring too many points to remain a ‘bottom feeder’ and he does have a cute smile! YUK!
Week 7 brings the mighty Army to Randyland! This should be a good one! Can the “Incher” stretch his winning streak to 3 games?
You Do Not Want to Be in the Bottom!!
Record: 1-5; Total Points: 1530 ; Profile Pix: 8; Power Points: 12,240
I don’t know! Maybe my math is wrong. The Dynamo made a huge power move and statement when he changed his logo picture. And, his point production is showing a strong north east growth trend. I guess he just needs to get a couple of wins under his belt.
Record: 0-6; Total Points: 1486; Profile Pix: 5; Power Points: 7,430
This is a very sad day! A tear comes to my eye when I consider the plight of the once mighty Steel Nutz.
I can write a lot about the Nutz’s plight, but why should I waste my time? ROFL
This is it for this week! Remember, I would still very much appreciate feedback and input! I expect publishing time will be late Thursday each week.
This is how Power Point Rankings are calculated. And, this can verified by Scott, Harkovich and Scott PPC.
Total points… X… Number of Wins… X… Profile Pix Value. No wins still getting 1 point.
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